... For Crowabout #58, Creative Catalyst #85, Created By Hand, and Theme Thursday
The Carnival...
We all know that there's a first time for everything, and often its the singular impact of those "first times" that set the stage for the "rest of the times" in our lives. My first onset of bravery and outspokenness, together with the way it was handled by my parents, set the stage for a lifetime of not being afraid to speak my mind, but also taught me to think before speaking.
The theme for this week's creative catalyst is "the scariest or most daring thing you've ever done". Before I begin to tell you about my scary and daring moment, it's necessary to consider that bravery is a relative concept. An act of bravery is dependent on many variables and factors. It's relative to fear, time, place and perception. So when I tell you about my experience, please keep in mind that I was five years old, attending my first fall carnival. It was outdoors, Halloween night, pitch dark, and occurred at a time in history when parents weren't as afraid for their children as they need to be now. For some reason, I found myself not quite lost, but temporarily separated from my parents, and holding a big bunch of tickets in my hand. So I walked into the bright lights of the midway all by myself.
The Scary Thing...
In the midst of all the open games, there was a closed, draped, tent which was beyond my power to resist. I had to know what was inside, so I parted the curtains and went in. It took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust, not only because it was much more dimly lit than the midway, but because the scene was in complete contrast to the noisy booths outside. The walls and ceilings were lined and draped with multicolored silks, and glittering specks of light moved about the room. Finally my eyes settled on the turbaned figure in front of me, eyes deeply shadowed, face lit from below the chin by the light of a glowing crystal ball. At first I was too enchanted to be afraid, but then she grabbed my hand, at the same time taking about half of the tickets I was holding while she forced me into the seat at the table in front of her. Then she proceeded to read my five year old palm. I have no idea what she said to me. All I heard was the deeply mysterious sound of her voice while I tried to look away from her shining face, but my eyes remained fixed. Somehow I knew that this was exactly where I should not be, and as soon as she finished talking and let go of my hand, I tore out of the entrance and found my parents. We stayed at the carnival another hour or so.
The Brave Thing...
Before I continue, there's something else you need to know about me at that time. I was an only child, a bit shy, and I really spent my days just going with the flow. I got along with everyone, and didn't push issues, throw tantrums or rebel against anything. I didn't tell my parents about the fortune teller until just before we left, but they knew something had spooked me, and were waiting to give me the opportunity to say what it was before they asked questions. As I told them the story, my feelings about it began to change significantly. What had been my fear, converted into a sense of righteous obligation, and as we walked by the tent on our way out of the carnival, I dropped my father's hand and ran back inside. The "gypsy" was bent backwards toward the exit, boxing up the decorations and entrapments, and I guess I startled her because she had a look of mixed surprise and anger on her face when she turned to look at me, but that didn't deter me. I told her off. Inside my brain, I was seeing the faces of kids I knew who were younger than I, and I told her she had no business scaring the beejeebes out of children and taking their tickets to buy things for herself. She stood up and began a sentence: "You little...", but my dad had walked into the tent so she stopped. He stared at her with stone, cold eyes while he took my hand silently and steered me back outside. I thought he would be angry with me for running back in there like that and for talking to a grown-up that way. But the only mention he made of it at all was once, in the middle of the ride home, he said, "Sad, how easily some people will abandon their freedom for the hope that someone will determine their future." I don't think we ever spoke of it again.
The Seer...
As I was cutting up this week's collage sheet for the Crowabout group, the only thing on my mind was color. I had painted the background a few weeks ago and it was perfect for the colors in the images. It was while I was arranging the pieces that memories of the carnival and the fortune teller came back to me. And I still think it's funny that I don't remember a word she said. In fact, I remember distinctly that I wasn't hearing her the entire time she was speaking as she read my palm. But I remember my father's words, verbatim.
Now I'm ready to
Brew another cup of tea
Finish filing collage images
Get back to work on a series of papers I'm designing
And try to stay awake (it was a night of interrupted sleep), and
Put some music on!
Have a great day, Everyone!
interesting piece.
Posted by: yogi | October 27, 2009 at 03:58 PM
Fabulous colors and quite unique.
Posted by: char | October 27, 2009 at 04:54 PM
great piece of art! love all the elements you have added to this piece! I ALWAYS love looking at your art!
Posted by: Kelly B | October 27, 2009 at 05:29 PM
Super colours! Great piece.
Posted by: Yvonne | October 27, 2009 at 07:02 PM
ooooh, I love the title...she's very artsy!
Posted by: amy | October 27, 2009 at 07:36 PM
wow, it looks fantastic!
Posted by: Dani Rogall | October 28, 2009 at 12:44 AM
Fabulous post! I'd have been frightened out of my whits, but good for you that you summoned the courage to face her again! You're a wonderful story teller!!! Hugs, Terri xoxo
Posted by: Terri @ Pringle Hill | October 28, 2009 at 06:54 AM
Wonderful creation!
Posted by: rein | October 28, 2009 at 07:15 AM
Barbara your art is fantastic. Your story-telling ability is phenomenal. I was sitting on the edge of my seat to see how it ended. I am so impressed with your father's wise comment. Thanks for sharing this scary, yet brave episode in your life.
Posted by: faye | October 28, 2009 at 08:43 AM
Great!
Posted by: Janny | October 28, 2009 at 09:52 AM
Barbara the Lionheart I shall call you from now on! fascinating! Now, I also never know what to expect when I come visit you either!! But, as you say, it's always something fabulous and this one's no exception. I really fell in love with that background when i enlarged your photo - absolutely resonates with me!
Hugs xoxoxo
Posted by: Rosie | October 30, 2009 at 03:42 PM
this is stunning! so many beautiful details and an amazing collage!
Posted by: Nancy Maxwell James | November 02, 2009 at 06:13 AM