Still Tired, After All These Years...

And I'm Ready To Take A Break!

 

When I was 16, I came down with a nasty, nasty case of mono!  It probably wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't been mis-diagnosed six times between October and April as strep-throat, and if I hadn't taken my weight in tetracycline for the faux-strep!  By the time my parents were fed-up with the test-hating, antibiotic loving witch doctor and took me to an internist whose tests quickly confirmed what he already suspected, my spleen was distended from a secondary liver infection and I ended up missing a month and 21 days of my junior year in high school.  Now, a gazillion years later, I still remember the energy I had before that case of mono...the energy that NEVER returned. 

Today's journal page pays symbolic homage to that event and its continuing effect on my life.  The little pirate is the icon of my youthful energy which stayed with the pirates in Neverland.  The foreground is the exhaustion I experience at the end of each beautiful day, sitting while those around me are still good for a little more time on their feet.  Exasperated also, by the young man bearing a barrel of grapes that need stomping instead of handing me a cold glass of wine!

I'm not whining or complaining, but from time-to-time I do grieve the loss of the ball-of-fire energy that I remember so vividly and used to be mine.  Funny, I don't see the energy I was left with declining with the years, which leaves me to wonder if my prematurely low-level hasn't yet come of age!  But I have done a fabulous job of faking it over the years.  Most people have no idea that I live dog-tired, and often I can almost convince myself that I'm not!    Because I love life and enjoy what I do, I can easily forget how I feel.  But still, it plays in the background while I consume copious quantities of tea and other caffeinated beverages, catch an extra couple hours of zzzzzzz's in the morning before the fog lifts and the stiffness subsides, and lose myself in life and art.  It is a good life, after all!

Here's what I read last month during my break from blogging:

Fairy Tale (for the second time); by Alice Thomas Ellis

The Blithedale Romance; by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Sleep, Pale Sister; by Joanne Harris

Jigs and Reels (short stories); by Joanne Harris

Wild Nights (short stories); by Joyce Carol Oates

and of course, Neruda

And now I'm going to pour a cold glass of wine, find that cushion for my feet, and sink into to The Evil Seed; The first book written by Joanne Harris (author of Chocolate, for all you Johnny Depp fans).

Have a  great day, Everyone!

 

 

Comments

[Lisa]

The depiction of your situation is spot-on! I'm just sorry that that is your situation.
XOXO

[Cindy]

That is an amazing depiction and I love the symbols you used just like a Renaissance painting. I really am sorry that you never regained your energy completely but right now while I am recovering, I can completely relate.

[Angie Hall Haviland]

How interesting....and I totally understand what you are talking about with the energy. Thought for a second I was reading my own feelings. lol When I was in 5th grade I was sooo sick.....was told I had mono....but after 6 weeks they found out I didn't have mono I have pneumonia in both lungs. Missed a month of school. I lost from 126 to 89 pounds. I spent the rest of my childhood fighting to get back to 100 pounds.....finally 20+ years and 3 kids later I weigh 120....but never have the energy...even with the bottles of liquid gerital I've had ROFL. Put those feet up and know I understand

[Gale Heritage]

I just enjoyed your blog so much! The world is full of people that really don't feel well but nobody knows but them. I admire that so!
I think of all the whiners and gripers and "look at me I have it so bad" people that move through this world and here I raise my glass to all of you that keep on going and making others happy while hurting yourselves.
Thanks!!!!!!
Gale

[Rosie]

I'd never have guessed - you kept that well-hidden ma'am! Love your art... all your pages are so vibrant. Perhaps, had you more energy, less would be evident in your art, or diluted elsewhere??? Just a thought , my friend! ;o)